Doushite

Why does it hurt so much
Why can't I just let go
I know I wanted it
But it is gone now so
Why do I feel like this
The past is over now
Nothing more to be done
And no matter the how
Alway I mess things up
Maybe I try too hard
The more I try to fit
The more I come apart
Everything falls away
Living my surreal life
Like someone else is me
Separate from the strife
Doors slamming behind me
Life like a haunted house
Trapped in the howling dark
And yet I do not rouse
From this disquieting dream
That I must call my life
Crumbling all around me
Dancing to fates grim fife
Shoring against the waves
Despair eroding me
Failing again to save
That which was dear to me
... ... ...
Not living or dying
Not laughing or crying
and never revealing me
Just a lie the world can see
And thats all that I can be